Why Your Outrage Does Nothing But Harm

The outrage you feel at the leadership behaviours we're witnessing today? It comes from exactly the same place as the actions you find so reprehensible.

That's not comfortable to hear. But it's worth understanding - because the pile-on, the condemnation, the evisceration - they don't fix anything. And often, they make things considerably worse. Fighting fire with fire just creates more fire.

In this article, I'll show you why outrage is toxic - and what to do instead.

There's a school of thought that feeling outrage - and expressing it - is not only healthy but a moral imperative. You have to put a stake in the ground. Take a position. Fight for it. It's your duty as a responsible human being.

After all - "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Which, by the way, Edmund Burke never actually said.

Social media amplifies this instinct many times over. A commentator I follow - normally balanced, insightful, articulate - completely loses her composure when the conversation turns to the Middle East. She incites her audience to join the clamour, choosing sides with inflammatory language, certain she's on the right side of history.

No surprise that others do the same - over US government policy, UK decisions, or any number of causes that are, genuinely, important. It's easy to join the baying mob when you're convinced you have right on your side. If the righteous can destroy hate and evil, surely we can all finally live the peaceful, purposeful lives we're reaching for.

But here's the problem.

The energy we invoke to wipe out hate - is the very same energy as the hate itself. Watch what happens when opposing groups meet on the street. Left and right. Pro and anti. The energy is identical. Only the banner changes.

Now - this is not an argument for moral relativism. I'm not suggesting that right and wrong are merely social constructs, shifting with time and place. Nor am I advocating studied neutrality on every issue.

So what is the best course of action - or inaction?

It hinges on two questions.

Can I actually influence the balance of opinion here? And can I do so without sacrificing my emotional equilibrium?

If the answer to either is no, your intervention will only add to the turmoil - and harm you in the process.

There are important, contentious injustices in the world that, perhaps regrettably, you will never have any meaningful influence over. What's the point of dissipating your energy on causes you cannot change, when real challenges are sitting directly in front of you - ones you actually can? They may not be as global or as visible. But at least you can make a difference, rather than baying at the moon.

What matters most, though, is the energy behind the intervention.

It's an energy of separation, division, and lack - with serious consequences. Let me unpack this with an excerpt from my book - The Struggling Entrepreneur: Less Push, More Flow

There are two ways we can relate to the world around us. We can perceive it as separate and different - or we can live in the awareness of the interconnectedness of all things. We can see a tree as a discrete entity, entirely different from and unconnected to a human being - or we can perceive it as the other half of our lungs, converting the carbon dioxide we exhale into the oxygen we inhale.

The former claims independence. The latter embraces symbiosis.

How we relate to the variety of form around us determines the quality of our lives. The more difference and separation we perceive, the more struggle we experience.

Think of it as a spectrum.

At the lowest level: Destruction. No commonality with anything different - it appears as a threat, and demands elimination. Anyone who challenges that view deserves the same fate. Socrates, Jesus, Martin Luther King - many have met this end.

One step up: Conflict. The antagonism toward difference remains, but stops short of annihilation. Football tribalism. Political allegiances. Workplace bullying.

Then: Tolerance. Neutral ground between love and hate. It can be indifferent - or it can be a mask, behind which antipathy quietly festers. Many working relationships live here. Colleagues rub along without visible animosity, but real connection is absent.

Beyond that: Respect. Literally, to look back at. In that act of looking back, we begin to see commonality, not just contrast - something in others we recognise in ourselves. That is the beginning of unity.

And at the highest level: Love. When alikeness overwhelms, and difference is celebrated. Note how the word 'like' - meaning not different - is also a partial synonym for love."

The message is straightforward:

If you want to experience harmony, you have to express it. If you express hate, you will live inside it - regardless of the cause, regardless of how justified you feel. The route to peace is not through anger. No matter what the other side is doing, you have to embody what you wish to experience.

So if you find yourself drawn between two opposing camps - by all means take a view. But hold it lightly. Don't let it harden into a visceral urge to destroy your opponents. Particularly so when your influence over the outcome is limited.

Because when you get pulled into the chaos of division - even for the most righteous of reasons - you have to experience it. And in a grand irony, you experience the very energy of hatred and anger your opponent is immersed in.

When you look at conflict this way, the idea that either party can achieve peace through adversity is nothing short of risible. As world leaders keep discovering, the belief that you can achieve peace by wiping out your adversaries doesn't pan out in practice. It never has.

This is not a call to sit on your hands, or fiddle while Rome burns. But it is a reminder to be vigilant about the emotions you allow into your experience.

Even in boxing - one of the most violent sports there is - fighters take great care to channel anger into controlled aggression. They know that losing that discipline will cost them the fight.

Sustained anger costs you far more than a fight. Chronic negative emotion floods the body with cortisol and adrenaline - driving up blood pressure, straining the heart, weakening immunity, and fuelling anxiety and depression. Your anger will poison you, regardless of its righteousness. Regardless of how wrong the other side is.

Master your anger — before it masters you.